Wednesday, April 04, 2007

if you are having trouble finding love, it's probably best to do something cathartic - something big and drastic that you have always wanted to do, that has absolutely nothing to do with love.

and if you want to remember how to spell definitely, just think of a shark that has lice and it's fin-nits.

Monday, December 04, 2006

cheesecake is invariably better when freshly homemade.

Friday, November 24, 2006

learning css, need to vent

i think i'm 'fired' from the site i was helping with, because i'm not yet good enough at what i need to be good at to make the site look pretty...

it's all part of my adventures with css. sometimes it's awesome and i am so pleased when i change a colour or a layout. sometimes everything doesn't work and i think that i need more foundation.

i've made a few silly sites with html over the years, then about three years ago i discovered css. used it on a page i made for my ex's art and then again last year for a cafe i worked at. (novice sites!)

and so i step, plod, skip and stumble my way through. main frustration being that as soon as i get something looking good in one browser, it breaks in another. do i remember correctly some problems of this sort in html? choice is good?

spending hours searching help forums for things like how to center a div, getting lost in "to make it work in browser x, use this fix, for browser y, we just add this. the best resource seems to be the w3 css school, which is full of technical words like "user agent"! user agent? enh?

i'd like to print that w3 css school thing out and read it like a textbook. other people actually go to school for this, don't they? should i go to school for this? i know i can learn it on my own. i know i can. there are a lot of steps between where i am now and where i want to be...

and i'm trying to add style to a website that was built in an IDE, i think visual studio. i copy/pasted the code to geocities to create the pages because my computer is slow and when i run dreamweaver i can barely open two browser windows. i guess the best thing to do would be to reinstall. i do /have/ a computer. i do have my whole life to learn this.

sometimes it just feels like there are so many other people out there that are so far ahead of me that i don't even know why to bother. but i can't stop! i can see the potential to do something really creative and really fun if i knew my way around the medium better.

it's hard too, because the it feels like the site that i am working on needs to be pretty like, yesterday. i can work on it for hours and days, but between all the searching, and the checking each change i make to the css one at a time (or two if it's something i understand, like color: #ffffff;) and i show very few results.

so what do i do? do i give up? i don't even think i can. i keep coming back to it. there must be a reason for that.

back to it!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I'm back! (i went to LA)
If you are a member of our photos site, you can see a video of me ringing a bell over a pretty sculpture. this guy had it set up on a street corner during the Hallowe'en parade in West Hollywood.
Obviously a very talented artist, and a bit of a strange-seeming fellow. His name is R.L. Hamel and i can't find him on the web!! oh me oh my! He had papers with a copy of an article written about him and his email address - but - no website!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

so this study about women reading men's faces has been in the news lately. reading about it i just think: doesn't science tend to tell us what we already know? women - can't you sort of tell when a man would be a good daddy? do we really need a study to tell us that we can? if we examine our thoughts, can't we come up with the same answers that science finds through studies?

ask any woman who thinks (and some who don't) why she'd consider a guy for a long-term relationship/procreation and she'll probablly tell you that he has to have that elusive combination of physical attractiveness and that je-ne-sais-quoi (niceness?) factor (the 'daddyness'). some guys lean more one way than the other, sometimes they will be interesting mostly for the 'cute' and then if you spend more time with them, you decide if the 'daddy' is acceptable. and sometimes vice versa.

i think the 'daddy' nowadays also means 'partner'. because even when couples don't procreate, the woman likes to know that the guy is going to be kind and gentle and treat her with care.

what the study fails to tell us is what we don't know - how do we detect it? is it in the placement of features? how, if at all, is physical feature placement related to behaviour? Will physiognomy be lifted out of the pseudoscience realm?

What about smell? What about brains? What about humour? Women always say humour is important, don't they? Will science one day tell us why sometimes people who don't look funny are funny??

Sunday, July 30, 2006

i really love my life.

i was standing at the counter looking at it, trying to decide (with my "free will") whether or not to move the tool kit and the sunglasses away from that spot, to make it a fruit spot. then i thought, well, it's the "junk collector" area, and every house needs one of those. the kind of place where you put your keys and receipts and little pieces of hardware from fixing shelves and sunglasses too, of course. then i thought, if i move those things, other things will end up here again. it's the only spot that makes sense for them, in a sort of aerodynamic come-in-the-house-put-stuff-somewhere kind of way. then i thought, i could move the things again, if they ended up there. then i thought about how pleasant it would be if it was a fruit area, how it could be like a little beautiful introduction to the kitchen, eyes, the kitchen is this way. fruit are quite aesthetically pleasing and they add a touch of colour. then i thought about the neighbour and how he is a self-described "crazy about that kind of shit" clean person. and i thought how i have tendencies towards that for sure, but when i'm busy, things get messy and i'm really fine with them that way. then i thought, maybe the neighbour is just not busy. it's true he only works part-time.

and then i thought about how glad i am that i am so free. so free to change my life as often as i wish to.

and then i thought that i was glad that i was not the neighbour, because i can tell that he is suffering in some way. well, maybe his suffering just seems so unpleasant to me because i have experienced suffering like that, which i guess to be: conflict with partner suffering, conflict with self over partner choice suffering, boredom suffering, stuck-feeling suffering. who am i to guess it?

who am i to be glad that i am not someone else, suffering...wouldn't i do best to take their suffering? i guess that's what jesus was all about. but you can't really feel anyone's suffering other than your own. you can feel empathy if you have been there. and then you have your own suffering.

what is suffering? what is unhappiness? why do people always ask what happiness is? why not ask what unhappiness is??

so what is it? it's when the little beliefs that you hold as ideas in your mind conflict with one another. it is when your brain gets stuck because of mismatched equations. if you believe "i love that person" and "that person makes me so miserable" then you do not know how to act, so all of your actions are just kind of like, turning around in a circle until there is some event or thought that acts as a catalyst to cause other events that change physical circumstances in such a way so that the unpleasant thoughts, the conflict, is gone. is part of the past, is part of something you learned. and once you have learned those things, you will not find yourself in the same situation again. or you may find yourself in the same situation, but feel completely different in it.

what leads to happiness then is lack of conflict of belief or conviction. there are still some places where i feel suffering, some patterns of thought that bring me down. maybe i can identify them and resolve them, or maybe i just have to keep living, living through those moments, following my heart, interacting with people, until such time as they change again... i wonder if i am gonna be a happy old lady? that'd be great? hm. ha. that question mark was a typo.

i wonder if a keyboard could be reprogrammed. okay. yes. i wonder if there is any point. most likely the "switching cost" is too high at this point, especially considering that the technology is probably going to be changed to one where people don't have to type.

typing is fun. like all physical memory. i wonder if we'll miss it.

Monday, June 19, 2006

this evening i started looking around on the wiki for the thing. the thing that we are doing...mysterious, ooh!

i have a lot to learn. i will learn a lot. there is a lot of information. there is a lot to do. i'm not sure how much i can do. i'm not sure what my function will be. i'm not sure of much, but i know this: the web is HUGE.

i like mash-ups. i like the word. it sounds good. wiki has a good page on it.
API. XML. AJAX. Java. that's good.

there are so many people out there doing so much. this is what so many people like to do, and it is in this invisible domain. visible. invisible.

ethereal ethernet.